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What the hell is a toner?

Sep 19

Sep 19 What the hell is a toner?

Kendra Hardesty

@Kelly_Lessem

The day I went into the hospital my friend Cat and I were walking Coffee Pot Bayou early that morning. A runner passed us by and on their shirt was the statement “Running doesn’t build character, it reveals it.” Cat and I started bantering “Business doesn’t build character, it reveals it’ on and on we plugged different concepts into the statement from yoga to motherhood we thoroughly tried out the truth of this t-shirt philosophy.
You know how it is, once your brain bites down on thought it is on permaloop in the brain noggin. During my hospital stay I must have applied that statement to a million different philosophical constructs both real and mundane. I kept seeing situations where it applied. I saw how illness doesn’t build character, it reveals it. How friendship doesn’t build character, it reveals it and how community doesn’t build character, it reveals it.
This past week you show me again and again the milk of human kindness. The very best that we are made of when we rally around someone who is facing a challenge.

I want to thank you. I also wanted to work through all my insecurities that sometimes made me not feel worthy of your compassion.
Even then I thank you for making me face this shared plight of humans. You healed me and broke my heart in the very best ways over and over again last week.

You came and visited, you shared stories, you wrote, you called, you donated, you sent flowers. Some of you I haven’t seen in a decade or more. Apparently for the heart time and distance are not an issue.♥️ The whole story is on FB. I maxed out IG.
I see you. You are good people.❤️

There is opportunity in these obstacles. Today is an invitation to practice. #patience #forgiveness #love #healing #humility #vulnerability #surrender #gratitude #iaccept

Today’s lesson
Patience and Vitality
I hit a wall today. It has been seven days since I entered the hospital. I’ve had four Plasmapheresis treatments. I really thought they would send me home today because my body is a stellar example of human anatomy and had an outstanding performance when responding to the plasma exchange. This is my head speaking. I thought with visualizations, sound therapy, breathwork and guided meditations I could overachieve my way out of the hospital. But healing is not a linear process and now I wait. My antibodies stubbornly refuse to lower and now my liver is acting like a punk.

I had a sonogram at 2pm. They said my liver activity is elevated and they don’t want to miss anything, a growth, an obstruction, a legion. 😳
I tried to tell him I was releasing old anger from my liver, my neurologist stared at me blankly.

They tested me for Hepatitis. You all will be happy to know I tested negative.👏👏👏👏👏 My doctor tried to insinuate that the kombucha and celery juice I was ingesting were causing problems. 🥒I just stared at him without blinking. He’s just grasping at straws, trying to figure out what element has changed since I entered the hospital.

So these are the cards in my draw today. I had to face disappointment and console myself as I would comfort Maggie. I have to be patient with my caregivers, as I am over them sticking me with needles in the middle of the night and during the day. I have to be patient with my body and stop demanding it perform to my expectations. I have to continue to be present for my body without judgement . I am currently practicing a meditation of patience and surrender. I’m navigating OK, like a C+. Oh shit! there goes that judgement.♥️🤔
#myastheniagravis #affirminators #patience #vitality #meditate #surrender #day7 #myastheniccrisis #stanthonys #plasmapheresis

I love this IG page. I wholeheartedly agree with everything on this list. #traumaisthekey #iamtransforming #myastheniagravis #empathy #equalsempowerment #youarethestory #humilityequalsstrength

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